so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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