she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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