May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
