He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize