I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
