Define "chronic" masturbator.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
please don't ironically join a cult
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