he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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