Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
