Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
