were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize