I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
