That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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