some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
