haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
