I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
