Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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