I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
