people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
