By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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