Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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