She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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