margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
