playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
