benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
