whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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