Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
