This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
