you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
