I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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