it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
