i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
