my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
