Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
