You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
