Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
