We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
