how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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