Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
