that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
