U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize