what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
