so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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