Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
