I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
