I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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