You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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