i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
