Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize