Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
