At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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