Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
