i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
