I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
