Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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