Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
