i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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